Romance scams: how to tell if an online match is real

A romance scam is someone who builds an online relationship to get money. The clearest sign: a person you have never met in person asks for money, or steers you into an investment. Never send money to someone you only know online.

By the editors of ProtectYour.com Last reviewed October 18, 2026 4 min read

Key takeaways

Never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you have only met online, however long you have been talking.
Romance scammers avoid video calls and meeting in person, and always have a reason why not.
Many romance scams now end in a fake investment platform rather than a direct request for money.
The FBI received reports of $929 million lost to confidence and romance scams in 2025.
If you sent money, contact your bank or the payment company now and report at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and IC3.gov.

How common romance scams are

The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center received 23,159 confidence and romance scam complaints in 2025, with $929,287,469 in reported losses, up from $672,009,052 in 2024 (2025 IC3 Annual Report). The FTC received 59,490 romance scam reports in 2024 (FTC Data Book 2024).

Most now start on social media, not dating sites. In 2025, nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam said it began on a social media platform, and $298M was reported lost to romance scams that started there (FTC Data Spotlight, April 2026). Dating apps, games, and “wrong number” texts are the other common starting points.

How a romance scam unfolds

The approach. A friend request, a match, a comment on your post, or a text meant for “someone else”. The profile is attractive and often successful: a doctor abroad, an engineer on an oil rig, a soldier on deployment, a businessperson who travels.
Moving fast. Daily messages, early declarations of love, plans for a future together. They ask to move from the app to WhatsApp, Telegram or text, where the platform cannot spot them.
No meeting. Video calls fail, the camera is broken, they are overseas. Meetings are planned and then cancelled.
The ask. A crisis: a medical bill, customs fees on a package, a frozen bank account, a ticket to come and see you. Or the newer version: no ask at all, just a casual offer to show you the crypto trading that made them rich. That path leads to an investment scam.

A related scam is sextortion: the person persuades you to share intimate photos, then threatens to send them to your contacts unless you pay. If that is happening to you, stop responding, do not pay, keep the messages and report it to the FBI at tips.fbi.gov or IC3.gov. For teenagers, see our guide to online scams targeting teens.

The signs it is not a real person

They profess strong feelings within days or weeks.
They cannot or will not video chat or meet, and the excuses keep coming.
Their story has a reason they cannot access their own money.
They ask for money, gift cards, crypto, or for you to receive and forward money or packages for them.
They bring up investing, especially crypto, and offer to guide you.
They ask you to keep the relationship secret from friends and family.

Free step: check the photos

Run their profile photos through a reverse image search (Google Lens or TinEye). Stolen photos often turn up under other names. A clean result does not prove they are real, because scammers increasingly use AI-generated faces, so the money rule still applies.

If you are worried about a parent or friend, ask gently rather than lecture. Victims are often embarrassed and the scammer will have warned them that family will not understand.

If you have sent money

Stop sending money and stop contact. Expect pressure, guilt or threats when you do.
Call your bank or card issuer about any transfers or card payments. For gift cards, call the company that issued the card. For crypto, contact the exchange you used.
Report the profile to the dating app or social network so it can be taken down.
Report the scam at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and IC3.gov, with usernames, phone numbers, and payment details.
If you shared your ID, Social Security number or bank logins, go to IdentityTheft.gov, freeze your credit and change those passwords.

If they asked you to move money for them

Some romance scammers use victims to receive and forward stolen money. If you have been asked to do that, stop, and tell your bank. You may be moving the proceeds of crime.

This is general information, not legal or financial advice.

Common questions

How can you tell if someone online is a romance scammer?

The clearest signs are that they will not video chat or meet in person, they declare strong feelings quickly, and they eventually ask for money or offer to teach you to invest, usually in crypto. Anyone you have only met online who asks for money is almost certainly a scammer.

How much do people lose to romance scams?

The FBI's IC3 recorded $929,287,469 in confidence and romance scam losses in 2025, from 23,159 complaints, up from $672,009,052 in 2024. Most victims never report, so real losses are higher.

Where do most romance scams start?

Social media. In 2025, nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam to the FTC said it started on a social media platform. Dating apps and unexpected wrong-number texts are other common starting points.

What should I do if a romance scammer is threatening to share my photos?

Stop responding, do not pay, save the messages and usernames, and report it to the FBI at tips.fbi.gov or IC3.gov. Paying rarely ends the threats. Report the account to the platform as well.

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