Parental controls: how to set them up on phones, consoles, Wi-Fi and streaming

Every parental control can be worked around by a determined kid. A friend's phone, a school laptop, a second account, a reset device. The controls slow things down and cut out accidents. They do not replace your child telling you when something online feels wrong.

So explain what you are setting up and why, in terms that fit their age. "Your tablet turns off at 8 so you can sleep" lands better than a surprise lockout. Tell them the rules will loosen as they show they can handle more. Then keep that promise, because a teen who expects the controls to last forever has every reason to find a way around them.

Apple's controls are free and built in. The key is to manage them from your own iPhone through Family Sharing, using a child Apple Account, rather than setting a passcode on your kid's device and hoping they never guess it.

1. On your iPhone, go to Settings, tap your name, then Family, and add a child. Create a child account if they do not have one.
2. Turn on Ask to Buy so every App Store download or in-app purchase sends a request to your phone.
3. In Settings, Screen Time, choose your child. Set Downtime (a schedule when only apps you allow work), App Limits by category, and Content & Privacy Restrictions for age ratings on apps, movies, music and websites.
4. Use Communication Limits to control who they can call and message, and check that Communication Safety is on. It blurs nude images in Messages and other supported apps and offers ways to get help.
5. Set a Screen Time passcode that is different from your phone's passcode.

Apple collects its family setup guides at apple.com/families.

Family Link is Google's free equivalent. Install the Family Link app on your own phone, then create or link a supervised Google Account for your child. From there you can:

• Approve or block app downloads from the Play Store, and set content ratings.
• Set daily screen time limits and a bedtime.
• Filter websites in Chrome and turn on SafeSearch.
• See the device's location and lock it remotely.

Family Link works best on Android phones and Chromebooks. Some Android phone makers add their own family tools on top (Samsung has some), but Google's app is the common layer across brands.

All three console makers offer free parental controls. Each works through a child account linked to yours, so set that up first.

• Xbox: the Xbox Family Settings app on your phone sets screen time, game ratings, spending limits, and who your child can chat and play with. Purchase requests come to you.
• Nintendo Switch: the free Nintendo Switch Parental Controls app links to the console and sets play time, game ratings and restrictions on posting and messaging. It shows you which games were played and for how long.
• PlayStation: Sony's family management (on the console under Settings, Family and Parental Controls, or through your account on the PlayStation website) sets age ratings, spending limits, play time and communication settings for each child account.

Pay special attention to chat and spending. Voice and text chat with strangers is where most problems on consoles start, and in-game currency is designed to make spending feel unreal. A monthly spending cap, or requiring approval for every purchase, takes care of the second.

Router-level filtering

Many home routers and mesh Wi-Fi systems have a parental controls section in their app. You can usually pause the internet for a specific device, set a bedtime schedule, and block adult content. Another route is to change your router's DNS settings to a free family filter such as OpenDNS FamilyShield or CleanBrowsing's family filter. This covers every device on your Wi-Fi, including ones without their own controls, like a smart TV.

The limit is obvious: it only works at home. A phone on cellular data, or at a friend's house, skips it entirely. See protecting your home Wi-Fi for the rest of your router settings.

YouTube

YouTube Kids is a separate app with a narrower catalog, aimed at younger children. For preteens, YouTube offers supervised accounts managed through Family Link, with content settings that open up more of YouTube as they get older. Neither filter is perfect, so younger kids are best watching where you can see the screen.

Netflix and other streaming services

Give each child their own profile and set its maturity rating. On Netflix, a Kids profile limits the catalog, and you can lock your own profile with a PIN so it is not one tap away. Disney+, Max, Prime Video and others have similar profile controls and PINs.

For many families, no. The built-in tools handle screen time, app approval and content ratings well. Paid apps make sense in a few situations: your family mixes iPhone, Android and Windows and you want one dashboard; you want alerts about concerning messages; or you need more detailed web filtering than the built-in tools allow.

Two caveats. Apple limits what third-party apps can see on an iPhone, so iOS versions of these apps tend to do less than their Android versions. Check each company's iPhone feature list before you pay. And monitoring that reads a teenager's private messages has a cost to trust, so tell them it is there.

There is no official schedule, but this rough progression works for a lot of families.

• Under 8: devices in shared rooms, a curated set of apps you choose, purchase approval on, YouTube Kids rather than YouTube, no open web browsing.
• 8 to 12: child accounts with content ratings, downtime at night, approval for new apps, contacts limited to people you know. Gaming chat limited to friends. Start talking about scams and strangers. A first phone may enter the picture; see setting up a kid's first phone.
• 13 to 15: loosen app approval and content filters step by step. Keep downtime and the phone charging outside the bedroom. Social media accounts, if you allow them, with privacy settings reviewed together.
• 16 and up: most controls come off. Keep location sharing if your family agrees on it, and keep talking. In a couple of years they will run their own devices with no controls at all, and it is better they practice while you are still around.

Whatever their age, secure the parent side too. Use a strong password and two-factor authentication on the Apple, Google and console accounts that manage your kids, because those accounts control everything else.